Let's Talk About Sex Baby.

Salt-N-Pepa had the right idea. So did Freak Me Baby, Colour Me Badd...actually any 90's RnB singer for that matter. So if these guys were more than happy to discuss the down & dirty, why is S.E.X still such a taboo subject?

In a recent conversation about sex & love, someone asked me "how do you talk about this so easily?". It got me thinking - was I too open? I've never shied away from these types of conversations, in fact I enjoy them, but when people can often be so quick to judge should I be a tad more reserved rather than Oprah meets Babestation? My conclusion: should I fuck!

Let's start with my childhood, à la Freud: I grew up in a very close family with a brother & sister who are 6 & 7 years older, so there's a bit of a gap. Being the baby of the bunch I always suffered with intense FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) so wanted in on the goss' from their drunken weekends & party holidays, something they'd happily share, resulting in me gaining a head start in lessons of love & how boys (mostly) think with their penis. Some may think that swapping sexual adventures with your siblings is weird but I'll forever prefer to turn to them for advice that what, watch porn or Google? Oh yes, I can see it now...

 Naturally, having spoken about this kind of thing from perhaps a younger-than-most age, I grew curious as I got older.

Story time for you now guys & gals: I'll never forget being in Year 10 at school & a couple of girls were pondering the question 'how do lesbians have sex?'  Trying to expand their little minds I casually replied with information on dildos & scissoring. Well excuse my French but fuck me sideways with a strap-on, I'd never seen such horrified faces before! They stared as though I'd just started spouting fluent French & spat at someone's puppy. Quickly their shock turned into laughter though & laughter into teasing - apparently anyone who has the slightest idea of girl-on-girl intercourse must in turn be a lesbian themselves. Well if they didn't want to know, maybe they should have Googled - there is over 16,400,000 results for it.

Anyway, it was from that moment on that I discovered sex wasn't something all people readily discussed. "But why?", I questioned. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I want to know the deep, personal details of everyone's past conquests but why isn't sex as a whole a more acceptable topic of conversation? I asked a friend this question & she said some people are just "prudes". With that in mind I turned back to my old pal Google for the true definition of prude & while I could provide Oxford Dictionary's definition, that'd be no fun - instead I present to you a slice of Urban Dictionary's finest:

Prude: a guy or girl who's afraid to do anything sexual or kinda shy around the opposite sex, but not a fag or a lesbo.

- Dylan, Jan 23rd 2003

Now I wouldn't say Dylan's really got it right there but the word that stands out to me in his literary gold is "afraid". Sex is a perfectly natural thing but could it be true, are some people simply afraid of it? Perhaps it's more embarrassment or the want of privacy than fear, which I understand however let's think of it this way: we're all products of people having sex. Yep. I know no one wants to go there but our parents banged, likely more than once, to bring us into the world. We were then pushed out of our mother's vagina, naked, covered in blood & goop, into a room full of strangers. Does it get more embarrassing & public than that? (Unless you're me & you shit yourself on the way out & have to be rushed to the ICU for swallowing your own poop. Yes, I've literally eaten shit.)

Moving *swiftly* on from our parent's sex lives, my point is we should feel free to getting frisky! Questions about boning should be met with genuine answers or intrigue, not teasing. Acceptance of all sexual orientations should be praised, not frowned upon. Can we also PLEASE stop calling men 'lads' while sexually active females are labelled 'slags', 'sluts' or Lord help us, 'village bikes'? It's just uncouth! Whether a person has got 1 or 85 notches on their bed post, we do not hold the right to judge nor should anyone be made to feel judged.

At the end of the day, just love whoever the hell you want, whenever you want, and if you want to talk about it - you know where to find me.

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